Returning to the Core

Sure is a busy semester!

How can I tell?  I've only managed to post once each month since September, and it won't get any better over the next month or so.  But that doesn't mean that there hasn't been plenty happening!

Back in September I shared a story about a cosmic 2 x 4, and the resulting understanding that there is an Indestructible Core within me that is God-given, and keeps me safe. And while I've been busy with school work and writing, more has been happening with that image of the Core and what it signifies.


Let me explain.  At first, the core was a small, gray cylinder, tucked at the center of my body (that's what it looked like in meditation).  It was solid, which I found reassuring, and as I meditated with it, I wondered what more it had to teach me.

Then it began to change.  Instead of a cylinder it began to appear as a small sphere, right at my heart.  The message seemed to be that the indestructible presence within me was associated with my heart, and that seemed right.

Then the sphere turned a deep, glowing gold, and began to vibrate.  Honestly, for a while all I could think of was a golden snitch from Harry Potter!  It was alive, and wanted in some way to soar.  All I could do was observe, and wait.

Soon the sphere turned to clear crystal, and began to expand.  It gave off light, and the outside of my body appeared like rough bark, long brown peeling crusts which seemed to represent old ideas and attitudes that were ready to fall away.

Over time (this was a matter of several weeks to this point) the crystal sphere slowly expanded, and the light inside grew brighter.  I began to ask, 'What is inside this sphere?  What is making it grow?'  And instead of connecting with other 'cores' by the threads of a web, as I'd imagined might happen, I realized that the purpose of the expanding core was so that I could include others -- tuck them in, as it were -- so that the core of 'me' became much bigger than 'just me.'

I started to pray for others by tucking them into the sphere -- and that made the sphere grow much more quickly.  I tucked in sick people, community members, family, friends, causes, countries, anything I could think of.  And then I came back to my initial discovery -- that I am safe because the Indestructible Core resides in me.  And I realized that now I needed to put myself with everyone else inside that Core.

Prayer with the Core continues to change, and to teach me new things.  But here's what I've discovered so far:

1. I am still safe.
2. What is within me and what is outside me are all the same.
2. Prayer means returning to the conscious presence of the core, and bringing all that I am and all that I know in there with me.
3. The peeling crusts are not visible these days.  I could wish all that stuff away, but it just seems to not be the point just now.
4. The best part is the light.  Lots of light.  Just being in the light is often enough.  And all it takes is a breath to go there.

Sending blessings and light to all who read this.