I Surrender

My last blog post addressed the issue of sexual violence that had been done to me in the past.  Long resolved, though not forgotten, it was important to bring my personal experience to the discussion of violence and misogyny in the popular culture.

There was a moment, though, a quick phrase that appeared in that blog that afterwards made me pause.  It was a passing mention of “body image” issues and concerns about weight, something I felt in the moment would be familiar to most women, as well as to those men who are sufficiently aware of the concerns of the women in their lives.  I caught myself up short, though, when I realized that those issues were an indication that the violence that had been done to my body wasn’t just coming from the outside.  I had been doing it to myself for as long as I can remember.

God and Women's Bodies

The current conversation surrounding women’s bodies and how women are to be regarded is becoming more and more disturbing.  It’s a topic that comes very close to home for me, and I want to connect my experience with the emerging theology of unity that I’ve been developing in this blog. 

First, I need to share a bit of my past – not only do I have the usual body image and weight concerns, but I am a survivor of marital rape.  My first husband (now deceased) was an alcoholic who needed to exploit my body sexually just to reassure himself that he was alive.  At least, that’s what my therapist said.  For myself, I can say that I got told what I wanted, and in an effort to be a good and loving wife I went along with things I should never have allowed.  But all of that is in retrospect. 

Is there a gap or isn't there?

Still wondering about the question of whether there is a gap between us and God, or not.

I got very excited a week or so ago by a post from Fr. Richard Rohr, whose alternative theology is quite engaging.  You'll find the post here.  In short, he suggest that in the book of Genesis, God's first two gestures are acts of separating: light from dark, and waters above from waters below.  And these acts are not called "good," "tov" in Hebrew, as God does for other acts of creation.